I’m so upset I’m shaking and trying to stop crying. I’m so tired of living. Of being a freaking sex object to almost every guy in my life. I’m not joking. EVERY convo I have with a guy has SOMETHING sexual in it, or they’re calling me “Beautiful” or “sexy” or “babe.” Well, I don’t FEEL beautiful….I NEVER have. Beautiful is nice to hear EVERY once in awhile not as a daily thing because then it gets worn out. And, I’d rather be “pretty” than “sexy” to be honest. But, no. I’m “beautiful” or “sexy” or “pretty” and guys like me for my body or my eyes or my smile or some PHYSICAL feature. Why the hell can’t they just like me for my PERSONALITY?!? WHAT?!? DO I NOT HAVE ONE?!?
Oh, but most of my girlfriends think and say how “lucky you are that you don’t gain weight” or “I wish I could have your body” or “I wish I could be like you and get all the guys.” DON’T BE FREAKING STUPID. IT IS NOT A BLESSING. I WOULD RATHER BE 5OO FREAKING POUNDS AND LIKED FOR MY PERSONALITY THAN GO THROUGH THE FREAKING CRAP I’M GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW. SERIOUSLY. My girlfriends that are built don’t know how freaking lucky they are because they only have a few guys that like them. I envy them a lot, more than I can say.
What can I say? This is my life. I have no choice but to get use to it I guess….Lol…So, lemme ask you a question.
Do you envy me now?
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