My aunt just gave me a bag of art stuff such a paints and oils and sketching pencils and ect...I believe I am in heaven.....UUUHHHHAAAA =D

My "Bucket" List For My Life

Stuff I want to do sometime in my life:



1. Go to a Josh Groban concert/ Meet Josh Groban

2. Get all 5 of my tats

3. Visit Italy, Hungary, Germany, and Britian

4. See the chapel that King Henry VIII is buried in

5. Meet and give Micheal Phelps a prep talk

6. Publish my book and have at least 100 people read it

7. Make my own cd with my lyrics and music

8. Become a professional guitar player

9. Take singing lessons and piano lessons

10. Get over all my fears and not be so weak

11. Learn to cut hair and do make up proffessionally

12. Lead someone to the Lord

13. Be a missionary to Brazil

14. Learn Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, German, and Hungarian

15. Pet a penguin

16. Learn to hip-hop dance

17. Have my book made into a movie

18. Vist Ronald Regan's Library

19. Go on a cruise

20. Go to the Carribeans

21. Go back to Mexico to do missionary work

22. Make a difference in someone's life

23. Study to become an Interior Designer at the Art University of San Fransico and design the house of a famous person

24. Visit the states I haven't been to yet

25. Live in one of my favorite cities: A.K.A. New York City, San Diego, Boston, Washington D.C, San Fransico.

26. Travel the world

27. Find my biological dad and meet him.

28. Meet my Uncle Mickey

29. Visit Jesse in Washington

30. Get kissed on New Years Eve

31. Be happy

32. Have an outdoor wedding

33. Learn Karate and take boxing again

34. Talk to Taylor Swift

35. Live near the ocean in Cali

36. Get my best friend back

37. Go dancing at a club with my girlfriends

38. Show a real smile for once

39. Win Publisher's Clearing House

40. Make my parents proud

41. Grow my hair past my butt

Things I Want To Happen/Improve By July...

Things I Want To Happen/Improve By July...

1. Get at least two of my tattoos

2. Practice more on my guitar and be able to put music with my lyrics

3. Learn to cut hair

4. Learn more recipes for cooking and thus, cook more

5.Finish my book and start on the next one

6. Find a job outta town since no one’s hiring here and I can drive now =P

7. Go back to Cali to visit the beach

7. Work on my tan

8. Get fit/work out

9. Possibly dye my hair a darker color

10. Get contacts

What Guys/Girls Shouldn't Do In Relationships...

20 things girls should never do to guys

1)Play him: guys have emotions too. and girls can be just as big of players as guys.

2)Not pay attention: guys try to be tough. i’m not going to lie. but when they’re willing to open up their hearts for you, don’t go off with the “omg i know exactly what you mean blah blah (insert your own personal story)”. it means that you’re important to him.

3)Don’t hook up with other guys that he knows: He’ll get really jealous, even if he doesn’t like you. if you talk to him regularly, don’t do anything you’ll regret. he’ll regret it too.

4)Deny his kindness: If he wants to hold doors open for you, pay for you, even carry you when your feet hurt, don’t tell him no. If he likes you, he’ll do so many things for you if you just let him.

5)Deny your beauty: Don’t call yourself ugly in front of him, whether it be because you want a compliment or you actually believe it. if he says you’re beautiful, believe it. That’s how you are to him. and if you want a compliment, all you have to do is hug him, or look at him in the eyes, and you shall get your tales of self beauty from him.

6)Let him go: When you find a guy you like, don’t let him go. if he seems like he’s worth it to you, go for it. chances are you’ll have the time of your life with him, even if it doesn’t last forever.

7)Vent to him and not expect him to like you: Don’t open your hearts, cry to him, run to him for support, or vent to him in any way if you don’t want him to like you. it’ll happen.

8)Don’t treat him like other guys: He’s not a typical guy if he treats you like a princess.

9)Tell him to stay away from the people he loves: Yes, he might be friends with other girls, but if they’re his best friend since he was little, don’t tell him to leave her.

10)Make him stop old habits: If he did drugs before, accept it. it’s not cool for you to change him.

11)Don’t treat him differently in person than through messaging: Don’t go around texting him like you’re in love and he’s your bff, and when you see him in person you say hi once, and leave. it’s fucked up and it confuses him.

12)Don’t not accept his compliments: It’s kinda repeated, but when you say “ew, no i’m ugly”, it makes him feel like he’s doing a bad job at caring for you. trust me.

13)DON’T BE AFRAID TO KISS HIM FIRST: IF YOU FEEL THE FUCKING MOMENT IS RIGHT, KISS HIM. HE MIGHT BE TOO NERVOUS. FUCK.

14)Don’t be afraid to let him “do you” lol: If a guy wants to “eat you out” don’t say no, most of the time he wants to pleasure you without receiving anything in return.

15)Don’t point out his flaws either: If you say “oh look, you have some fat here!” or, “it sucks that you don’t have definition on your arms” it’ll fucking haunt him forever.

16) Don’t make it a contest to see who loves each other more: He doesn’t want to lose, but if he wins he feels like an ass. lose-lose either way, so don’t do it.

17)Don’t act like he’s a robot: He’s human, he cries, he screams, he can feel physical and emotional pain, he has limits and he can only control so much. don’t push him.

18)Go on adventures with him: He’ll protect you as much as he can, so don’t worry to wander off, it usually ends up being the time of your life.

19) DRUGS: Drugs can do so much, yet so little. depending on who you are and who you’re with drugs can add a little bit of edge. there’s nothing like going to an alternate reality and exploring with your lover.

20) EVERY GUY MASTURBATES. DON’T JUDGE HIM: Every guy does it, at some point, no matter who they are, they will reach a moment in their lives where they do it on a daily basis, and they won’t care where. so don’t make fun of him.

P.S.) if he says he loves you more, and he’s not a tool or drunk or high, It’s true.

Why Guys Like Girls

Why Guys Love Girls:

1.The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2.The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3.How cute they look when they sleep
4.The ease in which they fit into our arms
5.The way they kiss you and make everything alright in the world
6.How cute they are when they eat
7.The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end its all worth while
8.The way they are always warm even if its minus 30 degrees
9.The way they look good no matter what they wear
10.The way she fishes for compliments even though you both know shes the most beautiful thing on this earth
11.how cute they are when they argue
12.How their hand always seems to find ours
13.The way they smile
14.The way you feel when you see her name on the caller id after you’ve had a big fight
15.The way she says “lets not fight anymore” even though you know an hour later…
16.The way they kiss you when youve done something nice for her
17.The way they kiss you when you say”i love you”
18.Actually.. just the way they kiss you
19.The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20.Then apologizing for crying over something that silly
21.The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22.Then the way they apologize when it really does hurt (even though we dont admit it!)
23.The way they say “I miss you”
24.The way you miss them
25.The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesnt hurt her anymore…Yet regardless whether you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them… it matters not.Because once in your life whatever they were to the world they become the world to you.When you look them in the eyes traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without a trace of sound you know that your own life is inevitably consumed with the rhythmic beatings of her very own heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of a mind, but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

Dear you.:P

I want to fall asleep kissing you.

I want to roll over in the night and feel your arms around me.

I want to wake up in the morning to see your face.

I want to feel your arms wrap themselves around me and feel your hands on my back as you push me closer to you.

I want you to whisper in my ear and make me laugh.

I want to kiss your soft lips and open my eyes to see you smiling at me.

I love that we can talk about anything. The most important and the most pointless things.

Everything matters when we understand each other.

I love when you let your hands guide their way around my body.

I love them even more when my hair is wrapped around your fingers and your hand rests on the back of my neck.

I love when you hook me under my chin to pull me into a kiss.

YES. THIS. RIGHT NOW.

Boys

I suffer in silence. I don’t cry in front of people. I hide behind a smile despite how crappy things are. I don't let people know I'm hurting. I have to be strong for EVERYONE. I'm not allowed to give into pain or to know the feeling of WEAKNESS. I will always put you before me. I leave my phone on at night just in case someone needs me. It’s because I love everyone else more than I could ever love myself. What can I say, I’m just a screw up with a good heart.

GASP! I WANT A PUPPY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S SO CUTE!!!!!!!

I think this is SO pretty...

Don't Judge

See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? … He couldn’t do it last night because he was too busy talking his best friend out of suicide. See that girl, with her face caked in make up? … She’s bullied, she needs to feel beautiful. See him, the one who wears long sleeves everyday? … He covers his arms to hide the scars. See her, with the cheap, hand-me-down clothes? … Her family can’t afford food for half the month, let alone get brand names. See the girl who laughs and smiles at every little thing? … She cries herself to sleep every night. Wonder why she never lets her friends over her house? … Because she’s afraid they’ll see her dad passed out drunk on the floor, as always. See how that girl cringes as rape jokes? … She was raped. See the boy who everyone goes to for advice? … He wishes someone would do the same for him. See the girl who never brings a lunch? … She’s disgusted by her body. See her, with the little waist? … She goes to the bathroom and forces herself to throw up so that she can keep her waist that way. See the boy over there, see the dark circles under his eyes? … He has insomnia, he fears what he’ll see in his dreams. See that girl daydreaming over there? … She has schizophrenia. See the boy biting his nails? … He has cancer and he’s wondering how much time he has left. See your best friend? … She’s addicted to drugs, but she can’t tell you because you wont understand. See that boy reading all about 9/11? … His parents died on that day. See her, with her phone on her at all times? … She’s waiting for a call saying her sister was found after a kidnapping 4 years ago. Don’t judge.

Libras

Both of these are SO true, especially for me...

Red Lipstick

WHEN I PUT ON AND WEAR RED LIPSTICK, I FEEL GORGEOUS . I FEEL STUNNING AND BEAUTIFUL AND SPONTANEOUS AND SEXY. I FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS FROM ANOTHER WORLD. BUT THEN, WHEN I TAKE IT OFF, I TURN BACK INTO THE USUAL, PLAIN, BORING OLD ME. =/

I Will Miss You Terribly....

It makes me sad to tell you that I'm dating someone else but it KILLS me to tell you that I'm gonna end up marrying them. It blows my mind because, not even ten months ago, the only thing I wanted more than anything was to marry YOU. And yet, that dream was shattered, never to be seen again because of your stupid anger and your hurtful words. Do I regret it? Do I regret telling you your my everything and spending countless hours assuring you of my love for you? No. I will never regret that. I miss it, in fact. It is something beautiful. WE were something beautiful. Something like out of a fairy tale book except the fairy tale went wrong and we lost each other, only for me to find a new, unexpected prince and still wish it was you.

You once said to me that he was nothing like you and that he never will be and your right. The only way he is like you is his constant and utter cheesy-ness and romantics. But, other than that, he's nothing like you. He doesn't know the first thing about cars, he tries to do stitch's voice and fails at it, he can't drive or give me an adrenaline rush like you can on the Castaic Roads. He doesn't smell or look like you, and he doesn't have that adorable little smile that I love so much. I don't look at his pictures and cry like when I look at yours and I don't laugh when he tries to do voices and fails at it. But that doesn't mean I don't love him, cause I do.

I love the silent, unquenchable joy he has for everyone and everything, including life. I love how he always treats people nicely, even if they do him wrong or when he finds out he did something wrong, he instantly starts crying and begging my forgiveness which lets me know he's sincere. I love the way I feel safe and comfortable with him, or how I know he will stick by me through the hard times or how I know he wouldn't say something without first thinking it through. I love how he loves the Lord with all his heart and me with all the leftover pieces. It may sound bad, but to me, it is PERFECT. I love his blue eyes that change colors or his evil side grin.

This doesn't mean to say, I don't stay up at night crying, wondering what went wrong between us or how this should yours and my wedding instead of his and mine. I do miss you, more than you know. And I do love you, more than you know. I always have and I always will. But, I am so tired of waiting for you to figure out if you really do love me as you say you do and want me in your life, or if I'm just another fling to you. I'm tired of you not thinking before you speak and breaking my heart with your words and I'm tired of you giving me empty promises and vows. I'm tired of nothing being happy or being afraid of getting hurt every time you go to speak to me. I'm tired of giving everything I am to you or trying to convince you every time I talk to you of how much I love you when you don't even hear let alone believe anything I say. I'm tired of wasting my breath and time on you, when you don't even care or show the same affection to me.

I love you and part of me will die when I walk down that aisle and see that it's him, not you standing at the alter waiting for me. Part of me will cry on my honeymoon night when I'm in his arms and not yours. And part of me will always miss you when I'm making a home for me and my new life. I love you and I hope and pray that you will eventually learn and believe how much you mean to people and that someday, you may find a girl and actually learn to love her right. When you do, another part of me will die, but that's for another time. Have a good life and don't be so hard on yourself or un-trusting. It only breaks you down. I will miss you terribly....