Seriously? I just can't stop crying right now I'm so frustrated. Chels is mad at me 'cause we haven't gotten to skype in a while because I've been so busy and was talking to my cousin, David is just whatever, I'm tired and don't feel good and am dealing with some of my old insecurities right now. All I wanted was a night to myself where I could listen to some piano or jazz music and read cause I haven't done that in a LONG time, but no, people need me!
People ALWAYS need me! They ALWAYS depend on me and I have no clue why! I have no clue why the Lord made me as a caring/supportive/loving person whose supposed to be a leader or whatever. To be fully honest, I wish I wasn't like that. What happened to the days where I was in high school and no one could guilt trip me or mess with my head and emotions? What happened to that girl? Oh yea, I forgot...I KILLED her...I killed her because I was tired of not being good enough and hurting people by pushing them away...But the truth is, all these people messing with my emotions and my head just make me want to push everyone away all over again. I could be all alone again, and you know what? I may not be happy but at least I'd know that people were taking me seriously for once...>=(
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